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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935294">Instead of a Cross</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoandlancer/pseuds/leoandlancer'>leoandlancer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Train Called Adamant [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Overwatch (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:49:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoandlancer/pseuds/leoandlancer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after Gabriel Reyes framed Jack Morrison for Blackwatch's war crimes, Reaper and Soldier76 meet again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Train Called Adamant [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725313</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Instead of a Cross</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a side fic for Hell to Pay, but you don't need to read it if you're just here for these boys. If you would like to read a McHanzo fic about running away from murderous ninjas on a old train with Genji and Reyes and Pharah along for the ride, you may enjoy that fic too.</p><p>The title comes from a line in <i>The Rime of the Ancient Mariner</i>,</p><blockquote>
  <p>Instead of the cross, the Albatross<br/>About my neck was hung.</p>
</blockquote>Which I enjoy reinterpreting to a modern sensibility by yelling "DAMN but I fucked up and SHIT did they let me know it."
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Reyes reached the roof of the old Watchtower just after sunset. The wind was cutting up, the crowns of the trees swaying in a green sea around him, the setting sun crowning the leaves in gold. The Watchpoint, a white and blue needle of a tower rising through the forest, was falling apart. The tiles of the roof were cracked, stained, shaggy with creepers growing up one side, the rooftop soft with grass and wayward wildflowers. A pretty decent stand of blueberry bushes was flourishing in a corner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Memories were slamming up against the mental locks he'd put on them years ago, maintained more carefully than a warden. He let them out now, freed the thoughts, the old times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Jack used to spar up here, above the trees, with the helicopters overhead, with the trainees running laps through the trails below them, with all their new responsibilities left on the floors below. Just him and Jack, his best friend, trading pulled punches and laughing, Reyes just happy to be sharing the touch, skin on skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When was the last time anyone had actually spared with him? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes drew his shotguns as he crossed the roof. RPNT was carved on their sides and that had never been an order for anyone but him. He dropped them without breaking stride. Useless now. He hadn't used them before when there had been a killer in his own goddamn bedroom. He wouldn't be able to use them here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped at the rusting rail, the glass it had held under it long since shattered and ground into the dirt and crumbling tiles of the rooftop. The rail was rusty but held him without a quiver as he leaned on it, looking out at the sunset, letting his past out of its cage, out from behind his carefully constructed prison of reasons and fears and rationalities. The wounded bull of his memories running rampant and terrified through his china shop excuses and reasons and carefully constructed morals. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack Morrison, his best friend, holding Reyes' shoulder and talking to him, quiet and urgent, telling him exactly what they both knew Reyes needed to do. Protecting each other in training, the two of them reaching out to each other in terror and uncertainty when things went bad. Their friends, comrades in arms dying all around them as the SEP program culled and culled and culled from their ranks until they were the only ones left, clinging to life, to each other. Skin on skin and Jack's voice in his ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Don't leave me alone Reyes please don't leave me alone. We can make this, we can live, but please, Reyes, I'll stay if you will, I'll survive this if you do, we won't be alone." </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Barely survived it. Reyes disqualified after the fact, needing Moira's dubious views on ethics and her willingness to kill him to patch something of his body into a livable shape. Worth it though. Kept him going. Kept him alive.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wind hushed up the side of the tower, carrying a few leaves from the forest below. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't a sound that made him stand up straight, no word or breath or even unnatural silence. It was something deeper than the marrow of his bones that swung around inside him, pointing like a compass. Due Jack Morrison. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why here?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack's voice, rougher with age, quiet in the twilight with the sundown under the crest of the forest. The light was still shining through the forest and every now and again there were flashes of gold in the dark leaves, the sky a pale green, fading to creamy blue, purple, then the dark of a young night. Sherbert soft colours around the rim of the world. Reyes standing on a blue and white needle in the middle of a forest, his guns discarded behind him and his death asking a question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I appreciate symmetry. My life started here." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were born in LA," Jack didn't laugh at him, didn't move any closer, was standing somewhere behind Reyes, far enough away that that rifle he carried would be at its optimum range. Right around where Reyes dropped his guns. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My life hasn't had much to do with my childhood," Reyes laughed. "It was about here, about SEP." </span>
  <em>
    <span>About you.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He didn't say that. He didn't deserve to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Turn around." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Men die just as well when you shoot them in the back." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'd know." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah." Reyes kept his voice low, shut his eyes and wished he'd found another way all those years ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Turn around, Reyes." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took an effort. Reyes eventually had to dig down far enough to find his bootcamp days. His little terrier of a drill sergeant shrilling at him to straighten his spine before he lost it. He turned, the sky dimming all around them, wind warm through the leaves of the trees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack Morrison was standing behind him. A step past Reyes' shotguns, his rifle in his arms, that old experimental weapon as briskly perfect as its creators could have dreamed. Jack Morrison, a man who'd dived into hiding from a screaming, outraged verdict of guilt he knew he didn't deserve. Because even if he didn't believe in anything else, Jack Morrison believed in this, himself. They both knew Jack Morrison could not have given more to Overwatch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes was almost lightheaded seeing him, knowing he was real, whole, alive. Still tall, wide shoulders and lean hips and hair that had gone ashy from it's shining blonde. Not his friend, Soldier76 was a vigilante that wanted Reyes dead. Jack Morrison died when his best friend betrayed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hid from me a long time, Reyes." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought you were dead," that was true, and he qualified it. "Until you showed up in the bedroom of my safe house. How'd you know that was the one I'd be in by the way?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soldier76 shrugged, it looked like Jack's gestures, but Reyes could see a stiffness on one side. An old injury that hadn't healed right and Reyes almost winced. He'd missed so much of this man's life, so much he wanted to share.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me why you did it," Soldier said, his voice was low, even, unwilling to be turned off the topic. "Tell me why you made Blackwatch vanish. You and your Shimada lieutenants, you left me with the bill for a cumulative ten years of war crimes and made Blackwatch look like my own personal paper scapegoat. A paper division to hide what was clearly my own war crimes. Tell me why my best friend, my right hand, let the UN burn Overwatch down from every side." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes didn't answer right away. He could barely breathe. He'd spent so long, so many years not thinking about this, so many years and so many locks and chains and bars between him and the jagged, snarling teeth of this memory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had taken weeks to frame Jack Morrison for Gabriel Reyes’ crimes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The days of careful collection, the picking up of every thread of every crime he'd ever committed. Weaving them around his best friend, his trusting, perfect, commander before pushing him to fall and choke on every single noose Reyes had tied for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me why you left me alone, Gabe," Soldier's voice hadn't changed, calm, flat, an old question he had probably asked himself so many times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I found out the UN was going to bring down Overwatch,” Reyes heard his own voice and it startled him. He hadn’t meant to explain this, his own cowardice, no matter how much Jack deserved to know it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stalled for time, pulled his mask off and held it in both hands. Jack stayed quiet though, interrogator’s instincts making him wait Gabe out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They were already in our data banks, going through our files without telling you. They were going to find Blackwatch, going to find the money we brought in, going to find every dirty little secret we shared. We were all going to go down. I could see what they would do though,” Reyes broke off for a second. Each word had to be forced off his tongue with an effort, but he went on. “Blackwatch was going to be a perfect way to excuse all the shady things you'd ever been culpable for. You were going to come out of it just fine. You were going to be the good in all the shit they would find. You were going to be cast as the idealistic but naive commander, cruelly used by your jealous counterpart, and you were going to be tried as incompetent, but good, hard-working, too trusting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soldier76 looked stone still, one more statue of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I knew..." Reyes lost his voice suddenly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could remember with visceral panic the night he’d put it all together. What would happen. How the UN could cut Blackwatch form Overwatch, and how they would make Jack Morrison nothing but a well-meaning incompetent. He could remember sitting up in his safe house in Prague with the UN Secretary's secretary drugged into a coma in the bathtub and a carpet of datapads and paper and plans and secrets laid out around him. Reyes had been panting in terror, curled into a little knot of desperation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First time he’d felt panic since he’d met Jack Morrison.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I knew you wouldn't,” Reyes managed to speak, but it came out as a growl and he had to start again. “I knew you wouldn’t go down easy. I knew you wouldn't let them cast you as someone who didn't know what I was doing. I knew you'd dive after me if I went down. You'd go down defending me. Defending Blackwatch. You'd never cut my rope you'd hang yourself on it just so we'd stay together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Memories of coming back from Prague, Jack's formal greeting in the relative public of the Watchpoint, the hug he'd wrapped Reyes in as soon as they were alone. Jack only laughed now when they were alone together. Reyes had held on to Jack so tightly it hurt both of them. He remembered Jack going quiet, letting Reyes hold them together until he stopped shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes didn't remember what he'd said at that time. It didn't matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three days later, he was ordering Hanzo and Genji to take their personnel and evacuate by 0300. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An hour after that an international task force arrested Jack Morrison for war crimes and Reyes was setting up Blackwatch’s new headquarters in a small harbour city in another country and forcing his mind to muzzle every memory of his life before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I knew you'd—" Reyes tried to drag himself together but found there was nothing but shards, not enough to hold in his hands, not enough to put together. His heart was fluttering, his throat felt hot and tight, his eyes were burning, his voice failed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Panic clawing at his throat, urging him to go to Jack, that they could face this if they were together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Old habits die hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack was just watching him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes relaxed his hands and felt blood slide down between his fingers, the claws had gone through the leather of his gloves. "You'd never blame me for what I'd done, what we'd done during the war. You could have saved Overwatch if you had. You could have been folded into the UN and kept working, you would have been </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine </span>
  </em>
  <span>if you'd just cut me out to be the war criminal I was.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes steadied himself, pushed himself to go on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew you'd go down with me. You'd burn Blackwatch, Overwatch, yourself, hell, you'd burn anything you could lay hands on if you thought it might keep me warm." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes looked at the orange plate of the Soldier's mask over his eyes. Jack had blue eyes, pale and bright and Reyes had spent so many years trying not to imagine a moment like this, a moment when he had to meet those blue eyes like an honest man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or at least a man ready to die. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A man with nothing left to lose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So why did you do it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I needed to protect my lieutenants, my people, my mission. I needed to—" Reyes couldn’t force another word out. He couldn't keep his gaze on Jack, felt shame on the back of his throat like broken glass and backed a step. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His back hit the rusted rail around the rooftop and he stopped. Standing in front of his death with a hundred-foot fall behind him. Nothing but words and a line of rusting metal keeping him from either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I needed to keep fighting. I needed to have one of us, Overwatch or Blackwatch, you or I, I needed one of us to keep fighting, we had a mission and we had a responsibility. We had training and modifications; we were built to do this. I needed to keep some part of what we'd made going. I needed the people we were charged with kept safe. I needed to use the information I had amassed for the greatest good. I had to... I had..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears ran into the corners of his mouth and Reyes shut his eyes, face hot, breathless and lightheaded, he couldn't get enough air. His hands were shaking when he scrubbed them over his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hundred feet of cool evening air between him and the end of his problems at his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Reyes," Jack voice dragged him back. Just like old times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought that was what I had to do," Reyes forced the words out with his eyes shut and his hands shaking on the rail behind him. "I thought the mission was more important. I thought it would be enough." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was quiet on the rooftop, just the wind, the falling twilight, the first stars pale and fragile above them. Reyes took a deep breath and tested the inside of his own crowded mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were always the better commander," Soldier's voice didn't change, and then suddenly, it did. "I told everyone at the time, but they never saw you as I did." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes looked up and Jack Morrison dropped his faceplate to one side, took up his rifle again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Older, scared, blue eyes and so tired, the face of his best friend hearing what he'd had to say, what Reyes had been thinking before he died. Jack took a step towards him, the old soldier's gate, minimal effort and Reyes' ribs kicked as he breathed again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jack," Reyes heard himself say then name and had nothing to follow it up with. Nothing left to say as Jack closed the distance between them, kept their eyes locked in a cool blue gaze Reyes would die looking into. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that was ok, that had to be ok. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Better than the alternative. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Was it?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes didn't realize how close Jack was until he felt a gloved hand on his neck. He didn't flinch, just let Jack's left hand wrap around his neck, thumb over his throat, fingers on his nape. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Was the mission worth it?" Jack asked him. Barefaced and close, Reyes could see the edges of the scars, could see the scruff from a few days without shaving, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack had never had much luck growing a beard, too fair, he could go days without shaving. In many ways, Reyes had envied his friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted it to be," Reyes said. The muscles of his neck moved under Jack's hand as he spoke, he didn't lean away, didn't make the slightest effort to protect himself from the vigilante here to kill him. Wondered if Jack was just going to push him over the railing and watch him as he went down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wondered if Jack would let him watch those blue eyes as he fell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But was it?" Jack's thumb moved over Reyes' throat, back and forth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hell no," Reyes spit the words out, more anger than he'd expected in the words. "Nothing was worth losing you. Nothing could have been worth what I did to you. Nothing is ever going to make up for how badly I hurt you and left you for dead. Nothing was worth that. Nothing ever will be." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your lieutenants would disagree. The people you saved; the mission survived. You were right. You were the better commander." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>We</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn't. You were right. I was a traitor and all the good I might have managed wasn't worth what you lost, what I gave up. What I did to you it wasn’t worth…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were close in the cool evening. Reyes with his back to the single rail, hands holding on to try and keep them from shaking. Jack was toe to toe with him, the heavy rifle between their chests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why did you come here, Reyes?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wanted to," Reyes's mouth moved almost before he'd thought of the words. His back straightened all on its own. This was a good wall to die against and he didn't need a blindfold."I wanted you to find me. I wanted to die if you were the one that wanted me dead." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack's hand tightened on his neck for a moment, just a second, an involuntary movement like a flinch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'd have fought me, in the old days." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We've established that when it came to the old days, I was an idiot." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I knew that anyway." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I've overcome great personal internal conflict to come to the same conclusion today so now at least we're both on the same page. You always were ahead of me when it came to insight." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have no idea how you've changed so much. I thought the adage of age becoming wisdom was a falsehood." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You just never needed to age to be wise," Reyes retorted briefly. "You knew what was important long before I did." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I did." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That shut Reyes up again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack barely cocked his head. "You were right. I would have gone down with you. I would have told them you’d acted under my orders, told the world that Blackwatch was under my oversight and that I was in control of what you'd done. You knew me so well, Gabe. You knew I would have burned alive to try and keep you from freezing out in the cold." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know," Reyes felt tears in the corners of his mouth again. He had known it and what he'd done rather than let Jack do that had been the most savage act of cruelty he'd ever performed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You didn't let me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was never anything but insubordinate to you," Reyes replied, he was drinking in Jack's pale blue eyes after so long. The lines of his old friend's face, all the world on his shoulders and Jack still looked out with clear blue eyes straight into Reyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack didn’t reply to that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes opened his mouth to keep talking, prompt Jack to reply, anything to hear Jack's voice a little longer, just to keep them like this, close enough he could feel Jack's warmth on his skin for another few seconds. Close enough that he felt like a frozen man edging closer and closer to a fire that would eventually burn him whole. He felt like he was taking greedy, thieving little sips from something long forbidden to him, something he knew he didn’t deserve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack kissed him. The gloved hand on Reyes' neck tightened, pulled down, old soldier's strength in his arm, grip on his throat, catching Reyes with his mouth open and pulling Reyes against him. Pulled him from the rail, pushed up into Reyes' open mouth, and the rifle clattered to the cracked tile beside them. Then they were chest to chest, hip to hip, skin on skin where Jack slanted his mouth over Reyes, hot and fierce and too late, much too late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jack," Reyes' hands were at his sides, trembling again, pulled away from the railing because Jack was backing, step after step and drawing Reyes after him, away from the edge, away from that hundred feet to the end of his miserable cavalcade of fifteen-year-old idiocy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up, Reyes," Jack growled, he licked into Reyes' mouth, bit his lip and sucked on it, tightened the hand on Reyes' neck to pull him down, drew his other arm around Reyes' waist and ruthlessly brought them together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Close enough it hurt both of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes grunted, a brief, aching part of himself that just wanted so badly for this to be over, for his compounded problems, his idiocy and oversight and all this lost love to stop weighing on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Jack pulled him back from the edge, pulled them hard together until it was clear whatever weight was left after today he would share it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stumbling slightly on cracked and crumbling tiles, dandelions and creepers and stray grass growing from the roof under their feet. Jack backed them until they were in the middle of the rooftop terrace without losing his grip on Reyes, without letting him think, without letting their mouths break for more than a few panting gasps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jack," Reyes realized his hands were locked up on Jack's hips, pulling him in as hard and Jack was keeping them together. "Jack I'm sorry." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You did what I should have," Jack's words sounded sour, his lips on Reyes, sharing short, broken breaths in the late evening darkness on this crumbling tower in a forest of old trees. Alone and they were together again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It should have killed me," Reyes admitted, "It should have fucking... You should still..." He shook his head. He didn't know what this was and he didn't care because Jack's mouth was on his neck, biting and sucking and they were pressed together all the way down. Reyes shuddered as the pain from Jack's teeth in his neck made him groan. "Harder." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack backed off, kissed the bite, licked over it with a tenderness that nearly made Reyes cry aloud for frustration. "Goddamnit Jack." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How long are you gonna keep at this poor self-flagellation thing?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We don't know the max lifespan of a SEP survivor." Reyes muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're just enjoying your first ever experience with self-pity." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here I thought it was guilt." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're a war criminal and a traitor, guilt is something you've built up an immunity to."  Jack's mouth was under his jaw, tiny bites, little kisses following them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes bared his neck to Jack and shut his eyes. "I have no immunity to you. Never had." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck, Gabe," Jack stopped, his forehead to Reyes' temple, sounding half-bewildered, half-mocking. "You really spend the last ten years hating yourself over that? Lovesick over me?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Reyes said, unequivocally accepting how pathetic that sounded. "So much fucking work done and it didn't' fucking matter, never stacked up, never enough to make this worth loosing." Reyes ran his hands flat across the back of Jack's biker jacket, blood on his palms from his claws, the heat and shifting muscle of his best friend, his brother in arms under his hands. "Losing you, using you to keep Blackwatch, nothing was going to make up for what I did to you, what I lost. I was a goddamn idiot for not seeing that. Not knowing that before." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hated you," Jack whispered the words straight into Reyes' neck, hot breath on the bite he'd left him. "God, I hated you so much, broke my heart Gabe, thought I'd been wrong about you, about us, thought you had never felt like I always had. All this time you've been just," Jack shook his head against Gabe's temple. "Just, the saddest bitch." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gabe snorted with the first genuine laugh he'd felt in years. "You put these things so well, asshole." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not wrong, that's the trick." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're not wrong. You're never wrong." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God that's good to hear you say that. Remind me of that when I tell you to do something in the future." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes' hands tightened on Jack's sides, so tight Jack flinched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both stopped, pressed in close, Jack's mouth closed on Reyes' neck, and he pulled back slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do I get a future?" Reyes' voice sounded quiet in the darkness falling around them. Pathetic, he could admit to himself. "Do I get a future with you?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack took his time, a few breaths rolling hot and slow over Reyes' neck and shoulder, Jack's head tipped forwards, hand still around Reyes' neck, the other wrapped around him, holding onto Reyes like someone might try and tear them apart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want one?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Only if I get this, only if I get you," Reyes said the words he'd never thought he'd ever string together. "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you, I don't.." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up, that's an order, Gabe for once," Jack was talking fast, moving suddenly, hand on Reyes' neck pulling him in and down and Jack kissed Reyes hard, pulled him down and pushed up into him and Reyes gave a tiny huff of relief and his arms went around Jack and held on so tight his arms shook. They had never kissed before tonight, Reyes never thought he'd get to, but now he was hot and eager, moving too fast, too hard, both of them with years of hurt and wanting. A lifetime of something inside them calling to the other. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stay with me, we won't be alone again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressed together so hard it hurt, thighs shuddering with the tension between each other's legs, pressing in and up, hip to hip, chest to chest. Jack's hand cupped the back of Reyes' neck, keeping pressure, pulling him down, anchoring Jack to him with a strength that came from desperation, Jack's body using all its rock hard strength to keep Reyes right where he wanted him. Reyes holding on to the only thing in his life that mattered, really mattered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Take Blackwatch," Reyes was light headed when he broke the kiss, he spoke the words into Jack's open, panting mouth. "Whatever's left of it after today, anything. You lead it after this." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack grinned, "Take you on as my commander again? It worked so well the first time." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think we've all learned a lot," Reyes closed his eyes, shook his head as he nuzzled down into the crook of Jack's shoulder. "Climb on stepping stones of our dead selves to higher things." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're such an idealist in your old age, it's refreshing" Jack stroked his hand over Reyes' head, cropped short, curly black hair shot with white. He cradled the nape of Reyes' neck again. "Anyway Blackwatch is finished." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes kept his eyes shut, turned his head and bit Jack's cheek, a brief, little press of teeth at the edge of Jack's cheekbone. "Take whatever's left then. Hanzo and Genji, they're good, they deserve to make it out of this. Hanzo found McCree too, he’s probably worth the effort." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, yes he is, they’re all worth keeping. I know, Gabe, it’s alright," Jack's breath caught as Gabe kissed his jaw, just under his ear. "I have a suggestion." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, this'll be good." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack huffed out a laugh, as rusty and unexpected as Reyes' had been. "God, I missed you. Never thought I'd say that but I did." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes managed to hug Jack a little closer. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You too. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He couldn't say it, yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But no, I'm not taking the tattered remains of Blackwatch for you," Jack took a breath, held onto Reyes like he was a flight risk, spoke his next words into the skin of Reyes' jaw. "I came to find you because Winston's issued a recall." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes took a moment to process that, and another. His hands closed into fists when he thought about Gibralter. Their first home together, after SEP, deployed together on the hot mountainsides on the Mediterranean with Ana and all the others. A fortress. And they'd been good, Overwatch had proven that it could work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Winston's restarting Overwatch. He's summarily in command and I'm not fighting him over it. Get Hanzo, and Genji, bring McCree if he’ll come. Gabe, join us." The words sounded fragile, something in the tension in Jack's shoulders, this fledgling hope, so young, spoken into the hot skin above Reyes' fluttering pulse. "Come with me." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Reyes almost didn't manage to get the word out. Felt like the auditory equivalent of leaving Jack's question at the altar. Got the single syllable out in a huff that made him growl it. "Yes, please Jack, if I can… Anything. Anything you need. Actually I might... uh.." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reyes broke off and Jack cocked his head for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stay with me this time,” Jack’s voice was still fragile, the words tumbling out fast, but he was starting to smile. “Bring whoever you want. Bring Fareeha. Her skills are wasted on crime. Angela already agreed. Do you know where Ana is?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, yes," Reyes said, relief felt heavy in his gut. Stupidly, he wanted to laugh. He wanted to fold Jack into his chest for safekeeping. Wanted to stay right here in Jack Morrison’s arms and breath in deep and smell him, this man he’d loved for so long. “Hanzo and McCree are on their way to here I think.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Jack was smiling now, tension draining out of the ridged line of his shoulders. “Then we can get to her first and meet them. I’ve never met your lieutenants.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think of everything,” Reyes leaned back only enough to study Jack’s face, new laugh lines, his lashes had gone grey. “And you’ll like Hanzo.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Genji?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll learn to.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can hardly wait.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack turned his head, and Reyes turned his and their mouths met in a familiarity lent to them by so many years of training together, sparing together, missions and briefings and knowing each other so well even now, even after so long, even after what Reyes had done, even after Jack saying the incredible that he'd been right to do it. They'd always disagree on that. Always. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had that though, they had an always. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you very much for reading, I hope you're all safe and well and home. Keep going &lt;3<br/>I'm on <a href="https://twitter.com/LeoandLancer">Twitter</a> and <a href="https://leoandlancer.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a> if you'd care to come by and say hey, have any requests, or a desire to look at cool ovw reblogs and pictures of boats.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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